The Last Wing

Founders, Friends & Family

thelastwing

Groupies and Boats

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Last week I was on a boat…well, it was really a yacht, and I was speaking with a handful of friends and we all knew that we were going to change the world. Seriously. “My company is going to change the world” or “my product is going to change the world”. I mean, we are on a yacht, we have lots of (other people’s) money, and we are really, really smart – we’ve all read “Zero to One” and quote smart business ideas we’ve read. We have groupies. One of my friends has a patented sandwich press and he is definitely changing the world. Eventually we all got drunk and high and naked and honestly, I’m a founder and my life is so great. 

So yeah, that wasn’t me. 

Too many people read the Steve Jobs book. And by the way, Steve Jobs didn’t invent the smart phone and Elon Musk didn’t invent anything. The cult of personality that dominates the “founder” world is an “all about me”, narcissistic, rabbit hole.

Give us all a f-ing break. 

Every time I hear a founder talk about changing the world I want to hug them and tell them it’s going to be ok. You don’t need to change the world.

You know what we can do? We can conserve water and energy. We can thank someone and make them feel a bit better about their day. We can show gratitude. We can make someone smile. Not ambitious enough? Maybe not. I guess it’s not difficult to do something kind in just about any situation. But if you’re a founder of a company, is it easy to make the world a better place in your own small way – every day?  Can you build a company that does that? 

Instead of changing the world, how about changing one person’s world. However small it seems. If the narrative could switch from “we are going to change the world” to “we are going to do something to make one person’s life a little bit better every day” think about how much more attainable and measurable that is. And how much more gratifying!

If you have an idea, a company, if you’re a founder and you want to change the world, ask yourself this…if you’re not able to change one person’s life, how are you going to change the world? If it’s not that simple, then what are you spending all that money on? If your primary goal is to keep raising money, if you need 20M dollars to accomplish your goal, then W the actual F?  

There are a bunch of startup predators out there that love to find founders who want to change the world. They say “you’re awesome, follow your dreams, don’t give up, don’t stop, if nobody believes in you, believe in yourself and your idea, you can do it! YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD”. They are all over social media and they take videos of themselves on a boat or strutting through an airport saying with such confidence “what you need to do is…”

Skip it. 

Can you impact one person? Yes? Keep going. No? Stop, your idea sucks. Do something else. 

Thanks for your time. Take care of your bartenders and wait staff. 

Rockin the Rachel

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Boundaries are the new walls. 40 is the new 30. k is the OK. On and on. Things evolve. Better to say people evolve. But not all people. Everyone knows someone with the same hairstyle they locked in at that one stage of life – so despite the fact that it was only in fashion for 3 weeks, they stuck with it. It’s like “have you picked up a magazine or watched TV in the last 10 years?” But that judgy thought that runs through my mind when I see someone rocking the “Rachel” in 2022 could just as easily be applied to me, I am sure. But here is the thing – please just fucking tell me. I want the feedback. Please hurt my feelings!

The thing is, I don’t have any walls – at least I try not to. I know enough people who don’t like me to imply that I must not have the walls to block them out. And it’s not that I am immune to being hurt, because everyone gets hurt and that is normal. But walls, or boundaries, are built on the fear of being hurt, and I think that is what I lack. And I think that is the key to being a successful entrepreneur. No fear, no walls.

You cannot be afraid to be laughed at, called stupid, seeing eyes rolled, or being told “no” day after day. Whatever boundaries you think you have as a person are useless if you live in a world where everyone around you – most everyone anyway – thinks you are crazy. 

Not only can you not have walls as a founder, you also can’t be afraid of walls, because that is what everyone puts around you. Product development, marketing, finance, hiring a team – lots of walls to climb.  So…you can’t fear walls, and you can’t have walls. Which means, of course, you are totally exposed. Which means you will get knocked down and hurt. A lot.

And the worst part is this – it’s very difficult, maybe impossible – to separate the “professional” lack of walls to the “personal” side of life. Your business IS your life. There is no “don’t take this personally” for a founder. (Please contact me if you’ve successfully learned how to not take things personally and you’re a founder; side note; if you think you are in that category, you may just be an asshole).  For me, I just don’t have walls, or boundaries, or whatever you want to call them. Because I have zero fear. So I am super-generous and giving to people I like, love-bombing anyone who is on my side, while simultaneously setting myself up for the sideways looks and “leave me alone” daggers from those that get caught in my excitement. But you have to take that risk. You have to be pouring out the passion and love. This isn’t so bad for me as a GenXer. We are sort of used to being treated like shit. I can imagine how difficult this is for Millennials and Gen Z, who have grown up with social media and tend to either overshare or lock themselves in a fortress of giant walls to protect themselves from, well, everything. 

The point is, walls don’t work. They are built on fear. Yes, they protect you. Any psychologist will tell you to set healthy boundaries. But be careful. Those personal “boundaries” might just be making you an asshole. And nobody wants to be around an asshole with giant walls around them. Nobody wants to help or be friends with that person. And despite the popular “don’t take things personally” jargon, you need to be liked, you need friends and you need help. The only people who get through giant walls are the ones you don’t really care about – strangers – who scale the wall to rob you of your soul, then leave. Don’t forget, walls keep people out, and keep you locked in. Be careful with your walls. Recognize them. Identify your fear. It’s hard to be successful, and even harder if you live in fear of walls or walls of fear.

Stranger Things

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I feel like there are two types of founders. Those that like to be founders and those that don’t care about being a founder and love what they do. I guess there is some gray area, there always is, but…actually I’ve never seen it, it’s one or the other. 

The founders that like being founders talk about being founders. They go to “founders” meet ups. They pitch. They LOVE to pitch. They subscribe to the concept that being a founder means pitching your company and raising money all the time. Basically, that’s their job – raising money. Install any company and what it does, it kind of doesn’t matter. It’s more about the whole VC world; keep pitching, speak the language, raise money, hit numbers, spend the money to get more money. 

These people are assholes. 

Oh man, I can’t say that. They aren’t, they are just not not assholes. 

I am joking for the most part. But VCs are wrong about 95% of the time(it’s 99.99%). They are people who gamble on ideas and want some sort of 10x return and they give bad advice and they generally don’t have much value to add other than somehow having a connection (and likely a background that lends itself) to money. Meaning they went to a school that works for that sort of thing and know people in that world. It’s similar to when you see actors kids on TV – I’m sure they are talented but let’s be real, having Uma Thurman as your mom definitely gets you on Stranger Things more than not being Uma Thurman’s kid. That kid knows the deal, so she gets the deal, and the world keeps on spinning, NBD.

Then there are founders who find the VC world strange. They are too busy building a business and caring about their product and customers and actually building a company. 

If you find yourself pitching a lot, working on your ‘pitch deck’ or thinking about your next raise, ask yourself this one question “Am I being a dick?” 

The answer is yes, you are. 

Think about these things instead. Are my customers inspired?  Are my employees inspired?  Is my product or service inspiring?  Because if they are, your pitch is this…”my company is inspiring everyone it touches, my company is a fucking cult! If you want to invest, cool, but I kind of don’t need you.”

If you are inspiring, you are making money, or you’re about to make money. And if you need someone else’s money to do that, which sucks, find someone who is equally inspired. Find a customer to invest. Find an industry leader. Don’t pitch “investors”. Find someone inspired, like you and your customers and your employees. 

Don’t be a founder, be a founder. 

Thanks for you time. 

Matt Smith has built and sold a few companies and doesn’t like VCs or pitching.